A therapist has revealed five things you should remember when arguing with your partner – including that you’re a team, and life isn’t black and white.
Jeff Guenther, from Portland, Oregon, has become a viral sensation on TikTok for frequently sharing his expertise in the love and romance category.
Most recently, she shared a video with her 2.6 million followers detailing the most important things you should keep in mind so that no argument causes a permanent rift between you and your lover.
According to love experts, you and your partner should work on having a clear line of communication instead of triggering each other during fights so that you can have a long-lasting romance.
Jeff Guenther of Portland, Oregon, reveals five things you should keep in mind when arguing with your partner.
The therapist has become a viral sensation on TikTok for frequently sharing her expertise in the love and romance category
Most recently, he shared a video with his 2.6 million followers detailing the most important things to remember in a fight — including whether you’re a team.
Keep your relationship strong! Five things to keep in mind when arguing with your partner
You are a team Argument comes from a desire to make peace Life is not black and white Flexibility is crucial to striving for a romance Know your triggers
She captioned the clip, which has garnered more than 97,000 views, ‘Five important things to remember the next time you fight with your partner.’
The first thing therapists should remember is that you are a ‘team’.
He said: ‘Remember you are a team, it’s not about me versus you.
‘If you’re preparing to win an argument, you’ve already missed the point.’
Next, Jeff remembers you and your partner where there is an argument.
He points out that disagreement does not create conflict out of a desire or need, but rather a desire to create peace.
‘Arguments stem from a desire for peace, not a desire to make your partner feel horrible,’ she said.
The therapist went on to explain that you and your lover should strive for harmony.
‘You’re both aiming for harmony, so try to communicate, understand and grow together rather than focusing on disagreements,’ she explained.
For her third piece of advice, the love expert says you should remember that life is ‘not black and white.’
Next, Jeff reminds you and your partner where the arguments come from
For his third piece of advice, he mentions that you should remember that life is not black and white and that you should both remember that things are not black and white.
‘It’s full of grey, things are abstract and layered. There is no single right way to say things.
‘Both of your emotional experiences need to be valid and equally respected,’ she explained.
The fourth thing you should never forget, according to love experts, is that flexibility is crucial to making things work.
He said that if you and your lover are not willing to compromise, the relationship will never last.
‘Flexibility is crucial to making any relationship work, you’re okay with your sweetie, you want them to feel good.
‘So instead of fighting, ask yourself what adjustments you’re willing to make to keep your partner happy and secure,’ says therapist Jeff.
The fourth thing you should never forget, according to love experts, is that flexibility is crucial to making things work
The last thing you should remember as a therapist is how to recognize your triggers
The last thing you should remember as a therapist is how to recognize your triggers.
Jeff says knowing if you’re crazy can help you react better to your partner.
If you know your weaknesses, you can approach arguments with more love than you would if you didn’t recognize them.
‘You either trigger or you don’t. When you’re triggered, you’re defensive and fearful, and when you’re not, you’re warm and loving.
‘So what do you both need to do to avoid triggering feelings,’ she added.